ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I bet he comes in French.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
