physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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