The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
