i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
