is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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