D3 body, D1 cock
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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