You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
