Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
