I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
