Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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