i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize