no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
