You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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