no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
