We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
