just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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