we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
