just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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