I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
