what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
