Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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