Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
