How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
