No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
