I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
