dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize