your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
