just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
