Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
