So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
