You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
