Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
