I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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