Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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