i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize