I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
