That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
