Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize