He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
