He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Alive.
So much puke
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
