he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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