that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
