Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
