So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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