The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
