Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
