i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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