The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
