u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
