As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Come on in and take your pants off
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
