TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
honey bunches of taint.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
