I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't make out with my wife yet
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
cat food counts as protein by the way
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
