Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize