And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have fence marks all over my body
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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