operation harelip BJ is a go
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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