I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
